Wednesdayness

I know I mentioned that I have really been inspired by music lately and it just keeps happening... I have heard this song for like ever... well maybe not ever, but for at least a few years and it never really hit home to me... you know like REALLY hit home... but it did this morning.

If weakness is a wound
That no one wants to speak of
Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune
I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I’m open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on
Cause honestly, I’m not that strong

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move...

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
Leads me to you, leads me to you

I’m not alright, I’m not alright, I’m not alright...that’s why I need you
--Sanctus Real

It's sooo real for me right now. With all of these emotions I have inside... I know I have to GO to Him... Run to Him... if it's going to get better. I need to submit. I need to let Him carry my burden. It's so hard though. To let go of control. To let go of what you think you can handle and pretend that it doesn't bother you. It's ok to scream... I'M NOT ALRIGHT... I get that now...

Ok.. moving on... So I'm sitting at home tonight. Josh started his internship this week so he is at church for their summer time Wednesday night thing, Block Party, and will be home late. It's kinda strange. We are together.always. So I was kinda at a loss of what to do with myself. So I skyped with Rhi(hearing her lovely british accent over my speakers makes me happy) & Kim (i love her passionate talks) for a few hours... its so enjoyable. Then around 8 I thought I should fix myself dinner... so I made a grilled ham and chesse and some kettle chips... lame I know... I don't cook much. That is ALL Josh. Now, Im blogging and eating Dove chocolate and listening to Pandora on my "John Butler Trio" station. If you like finding new and emerging artists, Pandora is so for you!

I had a 1/2 day yesterday... spent it creating new banners for here and HERE. Turned out well I think. Im pleased.
New look of the blog... like?

The upcoming SIS collection arrived today...Ill be posting sneaks shortly... PERFECT again... how do they do that?!
Gotta few photos to share...
Josh took this the other day when we were laying in the backyard after church... *edited by him too*
I love it... very chill... relaxing...but so dramatic.
This shot I took a few weeks ago actually. Some dandelions in our front yard before we mowed.
 

Well, I'm over at the SIS boards holding an chat if anyone wants to join in.. Wednesday night... 9pm!
Come play!
xoxo

Comments

[kimberly brimhall]

first:) hehe

you know i adore the talks...because i am "getting" who you are more and more:)

i wish everyone could...truly.
i love the blog
i love the lyrics too!

thanks for listening to my long-winded opinions....lol.

you're a doll. like a real one, i'd keep on my shelf, like a stalker (heavy sarcasm).

you are going to be AAAAAAA for amber Okay!

[Jen]

love the new banners...very pro on the US one! ;)

love that sanctus real song...thinking i might need to take a listen. i have been dealing with some hard emotions lately as well. i get what you say about, "To let go of control. To let go of what you think you can handle and pretend that it doesn't bother you. It's ok to scream..." and even when you pep talk yourself into the way you KNOW you should think or handle things...it is still hard. the road to healing is dealing with the hurt--and that is never easy--never.
you might like my latest LO. you can see it on my blog or @ SiS.
inspired by the "think" word, and kim's recent blog post and the tia bennett digi kit.
i am gonna make a mini out of that word...i think!! ;)
hugs to you lovely! my school year is almost done...so we will have to chat soon!! hee!
love you, my dear.xx

[Kara]

Love the new look. Yellow is so lovely. I wish you strength!

[Stephanie Wheeler]

Congrats to Josh on his new endeavor...and you will fare just fine. I lived alone for 3 years and moving in with my hubby was quite the change.

Love the new banner! And I hope you have a wonderful day :D

[rhi]

rhi likes amber.
and ambers new banner.
xxx

[nan]

Hang in there! I know what it is like for the hubby to be very into his career - which is fine because that is why he went to school..you know? So this is your time to SHINE woman. :) It is good to be on your own and independent. You go girly! HUGS! Let me know if you need to talk! Nan

[Nadine]

I really like the updated page. It looks awesome.

[Lu]

The pic of you is killer. Love it. And, I feel you on the music end. I am listening to some tunes that deeply move me, too.

[Helen]

Love Sanctus Real girl! Definitely some good music to be inspired by.

[Becca]

I love that song. I have the cd and I like to turn it up in the car and sing along, loudly. May God continue to give you His peace and joy.

[SandyB]

I love that song! It seems we have the same taste in music!

[Julia in MI]

I've been visiting your blog for a while now, but never posted a comment before. Good song. Love the words to that song. I've been reading over some of your other posts, also. I pray God helps you through this time, and keep running to Him. He knows.
Also, love the great new look, and that photo of you is awesome! =)

[Ronda P.]

ok I keep coming over here and thinking I hit on the wrong blog....this is cool, looks like you...love the banner.

>>>>>To let go of what you think you can handle and pretend that it doesn't bother you. It's ok to scream... I'M NOT ALRIGHT... I get that now...<<<<<< YES YES YES! I think you are healing and strong. I am so so happy you are letting yourself feel those feelings. Makes you even more beautiful.

[mikascrap]

Hang on! The banner is so cool. X Mika